Classic KJV - Proverbs 13:2

If we give helpful, beneficial counsel to others, it will rebound on us with blessings in our own life. Those who are polite and gracious with their words fare better than those who speak rudely and harshly. As the saying goes: “What goes around comes around.”

Even more, the enjoyment of the “good” is not limited to financial assets, but it includes even more our security, peace, friendships, and good will. We tend to avoid the pessimist and the “trash talker,” but we’re drawn to the optimist and the gracious conversationalist.

Speak Graciously, Positively, Cheerfully

Learning to say “please,” “thank you,” and “good morning” costs us nothing and makes everyone’s life more pleasant, efficient and productive. In his book, Life is Tremendous, Charlie Tremendous Jones says that one basic law of leadership is saying something positive to everyone, all the time. Jones emphasizes that this is a learned process, and we’re never at the point when we can stop learning. He jokes about a prisoner on death row, whose friend was learning to apply the technique, and as the prisoner was heading for the electric chair, his friend cheered him, “More power to ya!”

People who are uplifting can stay in our memories forever. I still remember a boy in my grade school: Polite, well-spoken, always smiling, and well-liked by all the teachers and most of the students. His cheerful, sunny disposition clearly boosted his success with a newspaper home-delivery route. The only cloud in his sky was the envy of some of his classmates for his independent source of income. For the rest of us, he was an encouragement—still remembered today.

Tell Good Jokes

Speaking graciously includes of course the appropriate use of humour—the appropriate use of humor. Sharing “canned” jokes off the internet isn’t a bad thing (if they’re good jokes), but it’s much more natural and friendly to find the humor in our immediate circumstances—the wonky electronics, the latest government regulations (ha-ha), human oddities, but especially our own quirks. Especially when joking about ourselves, humor shows our willingness to join in community with the people around us. We want to “create” wealth, not “take” wealth, and creating wealth loves a cheerful community.

Humour is an excellent way to lower the stress in our working relationships and connect with others, but we must to be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking that the words of mere mortals can accomplish the same results as the Word of God.

Words have their Limits

Words are very powerful, but we cannot just “Name it and claim it.” Some teach that we can create “our own reality” simply by speaking with enough confidence, determination and persistence. This philosophy attributes creative power to our words. Nonsense! Such power belongs to God alone, who alone has the power to create something from nothing with His spoken word. He “calls into being that which does not exist,” Romans 4:17b (NASB). Our words do influence our surroundings, our community. And while trying to speak the truth to others, we often find it ourselves, but our words themselves do not have creative power apart from appealing to God and His gracious will.

We must avoid the trap of thinking a good word is always a nice word. Sometimes the best words are a gentle disagreement or even a sharp rebuke. If someone is stepping onto a landmine, the good word is “STOP!” With caution, this should apply to our “lifestyle” choices. If we learn someone intends to cheat on their taxes or abandon their family, we may need to say something. That’s why good preachers (not “nice” preachers) repeatedly proclaim, “Repent.” In fact, that was the first word in Jesus’ first sermon as recorded in Matthew 4:17.

Our Maker, Saviour, and Friend

Jesus said that in the day of judgement we will give an account for “every careless word” we have said.

By our own words we shall be both justified and condemned (Matthew 12:36-37). Certainly Jesus was not politically correct. His words offended many religious leaders (Matthew 15:12), but He spoke the truth and was not partial to anyone (Matthew 22:16).

Jesus chose His words carefully—not to win friends and influence people, but to say only that which pleased His Father in heaven (John 14:10). Nevertheless, Jesus warns strongly against offending others unnecessarily in anger or by insult (Matthew 5:22).